A dense little story about the closet monster. He also appears in an earlier poem. My not so little monster. My enemy, my foe. He doesn’t live with me anymore. Which is nice.
Bedroom walls dressed in scarlet and tangelo perpendicular stripes make eyes dance and mind woozy. Akin to being slipped a temporary acid trip every time I enter the room. It is in this room when the lights go out that the dread arises. Like rising damp or steam off a pond it permeates the air. I gasp in breath – lungs take poisoned air into blood, blood pumps to my heart and redistributes to every outpost of blood dampened flesh and sticky pulsing organ. The hot panic contracts every vessel it touches with its nasty little moist droplets.
I know he’s in there waiting. Waiting for my guard to drop into a pool of deep cool sleep. Too he waits for the gaggle of other inhabitants to drift off into their own peace filled slumbers. Slumbers peaceful thanks to wits unencumbered by not-so-friendlly closet foes like mine. I envy them that at times.
Evening preparations of cleansing breaths and internal reminders of the irrationality of such ill-gotten beliefs. Check inside, beneath and behind. A routine rooted in obsession for some semblance of control. Easy access lamp placed at the ready for those unbearable moments as fear overtakes and spaces needs checking once more. Just once more. Still not showing yourself when I’m prepared for you hey? I grasp the cheap-jack value your choice of taking me whilst I rest. Easy pickings….is it just me…?
All rest now. An exception is made for the short haired feline – they have an uneasy understanding him and her. She won’t tell. He won’t visit the others. The ones she cares for. She stalks away as she senses his arousing. No point sticking around to witness this again.
Through the holes in subconscious he shreds pieces from the curtain of gentle sanity he senses settling. No gentle erosion from lapping ripples of hatred can compare with his full fury spawned of his vengeful intent. “Slow death or fast?” he offers reasonably twenty times or more. I lose count “No offer of escape I take it…?” No… no. Resignation and acceptable eclipse adreniline fueled tension – worn out reason leads into to rash desperation. “Well if there’s no more to lose except my life – then TAKE IT! I’m yours – I’ve no more fear, no more terror to feed you. TAKE ME. Please…” I wait whimpering with expectation of immediate annihilation, but no longer any fear of this result. I wait. Drift off into welcome wary slumber. Unexpectedly as dappled dawn light passes through the window I awake with hope sparkling in my eyes. Within one full breath his deep seductive timbre resonantes across my chest: “Your flavour was exquisite…. another taste will be delicious. See you soon again, again…. my dear.”
Underlying Overwhelming 